did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
