even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
