I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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