Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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