Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
