Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
