so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
