All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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