the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
