If that was your dad, he is hot
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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