I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
