I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
