just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
