I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
