NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
