he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
