I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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