you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
