moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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