Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
