how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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