you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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