If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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