The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
