I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
