Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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