I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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