I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
