so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
