i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
