i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
