And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
