You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
