I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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