I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
