Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
