can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
