so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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