I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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