You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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