ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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