This girl is more easily done than said...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
