Pappa wants mamma naked
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
