Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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