Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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