so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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