Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
