She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
