I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
