Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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