I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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