i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
