I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
