no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
