and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I touched a dick in church today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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